The autograph. Such a commonplace item in our celebrity obsessed lives these days, it bears a bit of investigation, doesn’t it? Watch any sort of red carpet event and one is bound to see a shot of celebrities with pieces of paper thrust into their faces, attached to hands that don’t seem to have corresponding bodies.
I went to the fair last weekend. Coupons for the rides were one dollar each!! You may be thinking that that sounds reasonable? However, you must factor in that no ride at the fair actually takes one coupon – even kiddie rides are more than one! It took three tickets to ride the Tilt-a-Whirl. Four of us got on the ride, so that means we paid twelve dollars for one two minute ride (it might also mean we’re suckers)! Twelve dollars for a carnie ride?? What the heck?! Bracelets (unlimited rides, for those not so well-versed in the fair lingo) were $25! Just a few days ago, I posted an article on this site about how old I don’t feel, and now I am going to age myself and say: in my day. Here it goes: in my day, a bracelet was $8! Of course, I never seemed to have $8, so the bracelet was still way outside of my financial grasp. But now, a family with two kids at the fair would have to shell out fifty bucks for a day of unlimited riding! Admission for two kids at Canada’s Wonderland is sixty! I just don’t think the Orono fairground and Canada’s Wonderland – the land of wonder for an entire nation – are on the same amusement level, so why the comparable price? I looked around at the ride workers and none of them seem to be wearing three-piece suits – not a single Rolex to be seen – so it isn’t a strong Carnie-union driving up the cost of my ticket. Buzz Hargrove is nowhere in sight.
Here’s something I don’t understand about this great economic crisis: big business and banks apparently lost all this money. They lost it. Billions of dollars. Well, where is it? When I lose twenty bucks, someone else finds that money. Someone is right now telling his or her friend the story of walking down the street and spotting my twenty on the sidewalk! I haven’t heard anyone mentioning 900 billion on the sidewalk. Did they drop it down an open manhole, perhaps? Somewhere rats are getting fat, gnawing away on giant wads of cash.