I’ve been thinking about compromises a lot lately. I understand that a number of people in my life believe me to be uncompromising—which is lovely and I am awed that people think that of me. But a) I’m a human being and b) I’m a practicing feminist, so I actually compromise like woah. However, for a long time I didn’t use the word compromise; I thought of my concessions as failure on my part—being too vain, too indulgent, only committed when convenient, and so on. Read more...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
“So, what kind of slut are you being for Halloween?” a male friend of mine asked me this week.
I wasn’t taken aback by his question, because it’s a reasonable one. Nowadays, Halloween, for women, is basically all about being as slutty-looking as can be.
I know this isn’t exactly news. Many of us have made this obvious observation. A character in the film Mean Girls summarized the situation quite astutely when she explained: “In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In girl-world, Halloween is the one night a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. The hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.” Read more...
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Last week, a friend and I ventured to the Rockin’ Rodeo. We wanted a girls’ night to drink and dance, and it was student night at the Rodeo (meaning that as university grads, we were cougars) so off we went. At the bar, we sat down and not a minute later were pounced upon. Yes, pounced.
I’m always surprised when I get checked out at meat-market type bars. It’s not that I have such low self-esteem that I think myself undesirable even to the most thickly beer-goggled. I just think that what I’ve got going on for hotness has no currency in that setting. Read more...
Friday, September 11, 2009
Writing about the difference between women and men may not be the best inaugural article for A Boston Marriage—but we’re doing it.
We recently heard a story that left us wide-eyed and speechless (not an easy feat), and offered us such insight into men’s reality that it seems a shame—nay, a crime!—not to share it.
Here’s the situation: out to dinner with two male friends, a female friend of ours had the opportunity to take part in a conversation where one male, we’ll call him Justin, complained that he had recently received a “half blow job.” The other male winced, but the female asked for clarification. Justin explained that his partner performed oral sex, but as he neared climax, she gave up. Read more...